Show the stereotypical/average American these pictures and videos, and they’ll likely make fun of how girly these young men look. Even while the likes of Justin Bieber and One Direction enjoy incredible popularity, there is also (among their non-fans) a very prominent and prevalent discourse about how girly they are. Soft, weak, effeminate, whatever words might be used. For all of our claims of openness, of diversity, and freedom, there are a myriad things a young man in the US (and, likely, in many other parts of the Western world) cannot do, cannot be, cannot wear, cannot look like or act like if he wants to be accepted as “masculine,” and if he wants to avoid being called sissy, pussy, wuss, or faggot.
And yet, in K-pop (and in S. Korean and Japanese popular culture & youth fashion more broadly), we see young men dressing, looking, moving, being, the kind of men that the dominant normative US discourse would deem decidedly effeminate, or even “gay.” But this look, this “type,” is not only tolerated or accepted in South Korea – in fact, these K-pop “idols” are considered, more or less, the epitome of masculine attractiveness. Yes, they’re quite strong and tough in some of their videos, drawing upon elements of gangsta/hip-hop/rap aesthetics. And, yes, most if not all of these idols are totally ripped under those clothes, with what they call in Korea “chocolate abs.” But, they are at the same time, in the same videos, or in other videos, looking young and boyish, cute and innocent, and terribly fashionable, perfectly put together. They’re slick and chic, have their hair done up just so, and feature a beautiful baby-face, with perfect blemish-free skin and captivating eyes (it’s makeup – and no one criticizes them or laughs at them for using it). Sometimes they dye their hair cotton-candy pink, wear boyish shorts, or even cross-dress entirely. They’re about as far from the square-jawed, meat-headed macho masculinity we seem to idolize, in which all too often, there seems a pressure to not even indicate any interest or awareness of fashion at all, let alone doing anything with hair and makeup.
Now, don’t get me wrong – I’m sure that Korea has its share of gender equality problems. And there are actually quite a few very well-written blogs, as well as more scholarly writings, discussing and analyzing gender issues specifically in Korean media & pop culture. But, speaking purely in terms of the embrace of this alternate masculinity, the freedom to be fashionable, to wear makeup (or even just BB cream), to do all sorts of things with your hair, and indeed the freedom to be cute, innocent, pretty, and to not have to act the mature, macho man – the ability to be whatever kind of man you want to be, without fear of being called wuss, or girly, or fag – is fascinating and wonderfully appealing to me. I wish that we in the US could take a page from this book, and cultivate a new normativity that embraces a greater diversity of gender expressions.
I was fortunate, growing up, to have never been explicitly called horrible slurs such as “faggot,” and to never be physically attacked by bullies, but I certainly feel the pressure all the same. A pressure to avoid dressing or acting or looking a certain way, in order to better fit in, and to avoid ridicule. And a lot of people are not so lucky. And for what? Gay, straight, or anything in between, young men should be free to dress and act however they want, to do their hair however they want, even to use makeup – to be free to explore a wider range of self-expressions and identities – without feeling that societal pressure to have to “be a man” according to a particular macho conception of what “being a man” entails. I was lucky to never really be verbally or physically attacked, but, then, that’s also because I gave into the pressure to conform, and I’ve regretted it ever since. If I’m not already too old to be dyeing my hair or dressing punk or goth or whathaveyou, if I’m not too old yet, I’m mighty close to it, and I wish I’d had the confidence to experiment with those sorts of things a lot more when I was younger. But it’s precisely because of those societal pressures that I didn’t have the self-confidence – that I scarcely had any self-confidence in my appearance, in my body, in my fashion, at all, until I was 27 or 28. So, I guess I live vicariously through these videos.
People laugh and joke about the “hipster” trend. But, from skinny jeans to bright colors to wacky, colorful sneakers, to all sorts of expressions, I see in these developments the beginnings of a shift towards a softer, less macho, but widely accepted “alternate” masculinity – a masculinity that’s allowed to pay attention to fashion, and to be colorful, and to be thin and soft, rather than big and tough. And while many people may see these trends, e.g. skinny jeans, as silly, or whatever they may say, I don’t think I hear too many voices saying that hipster fashion is effeminate, or sissy, or “gay.” And that’s very much a step in the right direction.
Superheroes as hipsters, by David Buisan
I think I may have gone a bit overboard with the links on this one. Haha. Sorry.
I like the term “alternate masculinity.” I’ve never heard it put that way before.
It’s interesting that when I meet FOB foreigners in Tokyo they make a lot of pejorative comments about certain types of Japanese men (I’m sure I did too when I was FOB). After a while you just get used to it and it seems normal.
I actually have a lot of thoughts on this issue but framing this phenomenon as an “alternate masculinity” gives me pause for reflection.
Good stuff as always, sir!
Never apologize for too much evidence!
Great post. I see, as I’m sure you do, some similarities with Johnnies and young Japanese men. (Oh, those well tailored suits! Be in fashion forever, you all look grand.)
I find that a lot of criticism of the “youth” throughout the last hundred years is that they are never doing gender “right.” Men with long hair in the 60s, glam rockers in the 70s and 80s, David Bowie, Kurt Cobain, the metrosexual of the mid 90s, the contemporary hipster–all criticized for not being “manly enough,” which is extra ironic when you consider that this essentially means the Boomers are criticizing Gen X, Y, and the Millennials for the same things for which their parents criticized them.
I think a really important part of bringing this shift in ideas about gender is going to be finally addressing the idea that women/”femininity” isn’t less than men/”masculinity.” Bring on the Otomen and the League of the Scarlet Pimpernel!
The reason that things that are considered ‘feminine’ in the west are accepted in SK is precisely /because/ SK is so homophobic, to the point where being gay wasn’t even considered a possibility until recently. Men in the states used to hug and kiss each other in the early 1900 in the states, where homosexuality was not talked about either. Acceptance of a feminine masculinity comes at expense of lack of acceptance of LGBT. (Grudging) acceptance of LGBT comes at the expense of accepting more broad gender roles. The US /does not/ need to more like South Korea, they need to be more like us until we all have the same civil rights for all men, women, and LGBT people. /Then/ we can work towards abolishing gender roles. There’s a reason why trans* rights are still extremely controversial in an era where gay rights are accepted in the mainstream. People find a lack of the comforting extreme gender binary a frightening prospect when we’re already asking them to accept people with different sexualities.
All extremely valid and important points, and I don’t disagree one bit on the need for greater acceptance and rights for LGBT individuals in SK, Japan, and the US.
I just think these things can go hand in hand, rather than being opposed to one another, or rather than one having to go first, and the other to follow.
Thanks so much for reading, and for your comments!
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Reblogged this on Fairy JerBear's Queer/Trans Musings From The City Different – Santa Fe, NM and commented:
A fascinating look at the alternative version of masculinity in KPop…
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