Julie – our voice teacher, and the translator and director of the kabuki play we’ll be performing next spring – lost her mother yesterday.
Knowing how it is to go through that, my heart really goes out to her. I nearly cried on Saturday when I first heard her mother was sick, and that Julie would be rushing home to Ohio, canceling class and postponing auditions. I think I mentioned some of this in a previous post. I did end up sending her an email, in the end. Awkward though the teacher-student relationship might make it, and I’m certainly not as close with her as some of the other students, but I know how meaningful such expressions of support and love were when I lost my mother… And hopefully we will be putting something together collectively as a class, or just as a group, five or ten of us, to which I can chip in, or sign my name or whatever.
Classes are now canceled through next week as well, and auditions are vaguely scheduled for sometime before the end of term.
It’s all very emotional and upsetting, and I just really feel for her at this moment. Thinking about how Thanksgiving will never be the same for her and her family again, and how, I’m sure, looking back at this kabuki production will be bittersweet and with mixed feelings…
Upsetting as it is, truly unfortunate and terrible development that it is, one cannot deny that having auditions postponed and classes canceled for X number of days is a huge load off everyone’s back (shoulders? what’s the expression?).
Movement class was still on this week, though next week we’re apparently switching to a sort of voluntary, show up if you feel like it, workshop style format. Of course, if this means more one-on-one attention, to really work on what I need to get better at, that’d be absolutely wonderful. I’ve been wanting more one-on-one time, and more time working on these moves rather than those moves, if you follow what I’m saying. I want to practice X, not Y. And I want to practice them more before being expected to be good at them, goddammit!
But, at the same time, I think it a real shame that we’re essentially ending 2-3 weeks early, and just as I had really started to get into thinking I was doing a good enough job, just as I had totally done away with any nervousness or stress I had about the whole thing. I could absolutely go another two weeks of real, genuine, class sessions now, going over again and polishing all the things I didn’t really get earlier.
But, oh well. At least there’s, apparently, no final! News to me. Plus, we’re apparently allowed to pick our own movement stuff for the auditions. Which is a little nerve-wracking, because it means I have to choreograph my own piece – which is basically just going to be a string of sword moves, probably, I guess. I’m certainly not doing any kind of dance. I almost wish they would just choose for us what we have to learn for the audition, and I’d do it. Or, hell, if they didn’t tell us, I wouldn’t have to prepare, and could just go in, do my best at whatever they throw at me, and come out of it knowing I did my best.
So, that’s about it, I guess. Term is wrapping up faster than expected. I need to remind myself to keep practicing voice and movement, try to stay on top of it, and try to get better at the monologue for auditions. But, other than that, I have just one paper to write, and that’s it for the term. Lots of work to do over break, though, as I’m preparing for my comps, and for presenting at that conference in NY in February.